2014: A Year in Review

Yesterday was New Year’s Eve, and it was also my twenty-ninth birthday. 2014 was an interesting year. It was full of laughter and fun as well as heartache and stress. It’s weird having my birthday on New Year’s Eve.  It’s my birthday so it’s supposed to be fun and lighthearted but because it’s the end of the year I found myself contemplative and more serious than normal. 2014 was difficult but turned out to be surprisingly good.  Here’s a brief overview:

January- we met up with Jeff’s two brothers in Orlando. We visited Sea World and had a fun night at City Walk with the adults.

February- We braved a trip to Chicago to visit Jeff’s brother, Jason. It snowed while we were there and it was bitterly cold, but overall we enjoyed our time.

March- Our trip to Chicago was from Late February to the beginning of March.

May- I ended my junior year at Florida Gulf Coast University! Officially a senior that means graduation is right around the corner.

June- I decided it was time for me to leave Sarasota Memorial and I began looking for employment elsewhere.

July- Jeff and I visited St. John and St. Thomas in the US Virgin Islands. It was one of the best vacations we’ve been on.

August- I turned in my two weeks notice at Sarasota Memorial Hospital. It was sad but also incredibly freeing.  I begin my internship at the local school board working with homeless families. I am surprised by how much I enjoy it.

September- A client that I had worked for three years passed away on September 11. It was bittersweet because we all miss her, but Barbara was really ready to meet Jesus. I know she’s in a better place. 

October- My parents decide they are going to sell their home.

November- Jeff gets a call from HCA. After one interview, he is hired on as an accountant. We are ecstatic. We had a nice thanksgiving with our parents at our home.

December- Jeff begins his new job and loves it! We pack up our belongings and move to the Tampa area. Adventure awaits us! I leave my job to find something closer to our home. Jeff and I had a nice Christmas with his family down in Fort Myers. This year we decided to do a white elephant gift exchange. It was fun! I was also able to take part in an amazing Christmas party that collected gifts for three families in the program where I intern. I was also able to deliver the gifts. It was by far the most rewarding thing I did this Christmas. 

As usual, our year was anything less than exciting. We have been blessed to be able to travel a little and visit with friends and family. Beginning my internship this year was very challenging. I felt like it took me the entire semester to acclimate to working and interning and studying. I felt so much like a juggler in a three-ring circus. However, I eventually I was able to figure it out. I love my internship. I thought that I wouldn’t like working with teenagers, but surprisingly I thoroughly enjoy it. I think I chose the right profession.

A tremendous blessing this year has been Jeff getting a job in his field. I am so thankful that he was able to get that job. He enjoys it so much! My heart loves to see him happy.  I also love to see people in professions they are passionate about. I feel like that has the potential to give our lives signifigant meaning.

Here’s to 2015.

In 2015, I will graduate with my Bachelor’s degree!!! I cannot wait to see what the future holds. I know that it’s exciting! I feel like this educational journey has lasted forever, and I am ready for a break.

We wish you and your family a happy New Year and a blessed 2015.

Jesus Has Left The Building

I’ve known Jesus my whole life and I believed in him for just as long. I learned about his life and all the great things he accomplished while he was here. I was told that he loved me, but it took me a long time to believe it. It would seem that the better half of my life, I was taught that I needed to be a good person who did good things to be accepted by him. I had to live a life that was “worthy” of his name. Most of the time, I was convinced that he was mad or angry with me. My childhood was nice and church was a place of contentment for me. Then, when we moved and I was old enough to go to youth group, church was nothing more than a social outlet. Unfortunately, I never felt like I fit in. We moved again and we went to another church. This church had no youth at all. I found my way into other youth groups in the area, but again it was nothing more than a social gathering. In the moments, when it shifted from social gathering to spirituality, it was nothing more than someone trying to play with my emotions. My whole life with you was based on one emotional experience after another. I had no idea what the truth really was. 

When I graduated high school, my parents sent me off to a Bible College where I was baptized into all things God. Really it was more like a baptism into a pentecostal denomination. Here I learned that I would never be a good example to anyone. I learned that I would never be a favorite. I got in trouble for a few stupid things when I first arrived there, and I could never live them down. I would never be anything great, at least not there. There were some good times with you when I really felt like I got to know who you were as a person. It’s hard, at times, to sort through what actually happened and what was made to happen. I tried so hard to achieve good things there. I tried to look good and to do the right things, but it was never enough. I was disposable, at least to those in authority. Luckily, I made friends with some really amazing people and they’re the only reason why I stayed. They were the only reason why I got through it. I knew these people loved me for who I was. They thought I was funny. They saw me for who I really was. They valued me. They still do. That’s how I know those friendships were real, because they still exist. 

Then, I decided I would volunteer at this place affiliated with the Bible School, “The Camp”. It ended up being a cult. How do I know that? One central figure head who made all the decisions and little to no accountability to anyone within or without the organization. We were ostracized from our family members, and were constantly reminded  that once we came we should never leave. This place was supposed to be my new home. The only problem was that I already had a home. I already had a loving family. I stayed there nine months. During those nine months, I lost a significant amount of weight because I constantly had to choose between putting gas in my car or food in my belly. I had several friends who significantly helped me through this period of my life. I would not have made it without them; you know who you are. At this place, I constantly gave of my life to people in need all in the name of Christ. It was seldom rewarded. I was seldom thanked. Running myself ragged was to be expected, anything less was considered a sin. I was told the soonest I would probably be able to take vacation and see my family was no less than three years. When I spent Christmas Eve alone crying in the attic, I decided I would leave at the end of the school year. 

In June, I came home. I moved in with my grandparents. Before, I left for college, we had started going to this new church. At first, I really liked it. When I made my decision to volunteer at the camp instead of coming home, one of my closest friends at said church turned their back on me. It was suddenly apparent that they had their own ideas of what God’s will was for me. The fact that I felt like God was telling me something else obviously meant that I wasn’t clearly hearing God’s voice. I was now inferior. When I returned home, this same person proceeded to make my life miserable. She purposely excluded me from things because she didn’t think I was doing God’s will. Meanwhile, I was caring for my grandparents who had Alzheimers at the ripe old age of twenty-two. Eventually, she ran me out of the church. When she was confronted about her actions, she pulled me into her office. I was expecting an apology; instead I was lectured about the rules of the church. I’m still waiting for that apology. The thing about someone like her getting mad at you, is that you have no idea what she’s saying about you to other people. She was pretty influential with the females in the church, and eventually it became clear that their opinion of me had become altered as well. After I left, she hurt several more people who also left the church. She still maintains her position of authority and affluence. 

After that experience, I joined a small group with young ladies my age. It was very enlightening. They were normal. They had jobs and lives and struggles. We were allowed to talk about our struggles. We were allowed to be normal. We even talked about our love lives, or lack thereof. These girls gave me a lot of hope. Being apart of their small group was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Eventually, I started going to their church. It was ok. I met my husband there. 

Since these experiences, I have been to two different churches. Then, my job prevented me from attending church anymore. It bothered me for a little while, but then I realized it was a blessing. I began to deal with wounds that the church had thus far inflicted on me. I began to think about all the stuff that had happened. What was my next step? Would I raise my kids in the church? Do I want my kids to go to church? Why does anyone go to church? Do I even believe in God? Is he even real? How am I supposed to believe the stuff in the Bible, when I don’t even know if God is real? 

For a long time, I justified my belief in God on personal experiences. Then I realized the power of manipuatlion and emotions. I realized that emotions are powerful forces that can cause us to believe just about anything. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I do in fact believe in Jesus. I don’t know if I will ever go back to church. I do know that I love the person of Christ. I love what He represents in the gospels. Every act that he committed was rooted and grounded in an unending, unconditional love for humanity. I know that I want to help people. I want to love people more today than I did yesterday. 

I will always have reservations about church. In fact, I know that I have said things to people and I’m sure they’ve sensed my distaste for organized religion. I’m sorry about that. I really should exercise more respect for people’s feelings about the church. 

I also know that I don’t have to tell everyone what I believe in or who I believe in. I think that religion is a very personal choice. I hope that my life is reflective enough of what I believe, that people will want to ask me about it. I never want to force my opinions on anyone. I think it’s interesting in the church how people have no reservations inquiring about your relationship with God, but most people wouldn’t be that invasive about my relationship with my husband. But aren’t they pretty similar? In the book of Isaiah, God calls Israel his bride. In the New Testament, Jesus is compared to a loving Father, another personal relationship. I say all that to say, I don’t owe anyone an explanation for what I believe or why I believe it. What I believe is between Jesus and I. I still have a relationship with Him, although on the mend it exists. 

I just wanted to share my story because I know I’m not the only one whose experienced this kind of treatment. I know that there are others who have been hurt much worse than I. 

I'm also not one that holds onto things. I try to forgive easily. I have forgiven those who have wronged me, but I would be foolish to forget it. Jesus has always been an essential part of my life, and to have experience pain at the hands of those who claim Him hurts a lot. It is hard to overcome. Things have gotten a lot better for me in the past few months. Wounds take time to heal. Some wounds take longer than others.

What does homelessness look like?

I walked into the room and looked around. There was a double bed and a pull out couch. Two dogs in black crates. Their food bowls were empty. I looked around some more. I saw a refrigerator, microwave and a crock pot. There’s a TV and two armoires, which contains one of the two TVs. There are two people sleeping in the pull out couches and a small child sleeping on some pillows in the corner. 

Earlier that morning, when my coworker told me we were gong to visit a client living in a motel, I had no idea what to expect. I was a guardian ad litem for a while, but the worst I ever encountered there was the occasional dirty home.

Standing in this motel room, I suddenly realized the deficits of homelessness. I suddenly realized what its like to be evicted and lose everything. I realized if I could give that family a place to live right then and there, they wouldn’t even have furniture to put in it.

For once in my life, I realized that homelessness is as unique as those who experience it. I live in a county where homelessness is perceived as one dimensional. I also grew up in a household where handwork solves every problem, and every problem is a result of bad choices. The truth is that some people are homeless because they want to be. The truth is that some people are homeless because they made bad choices. Some people are homeless  because they are lazy. Some of them might even be bad with money. No matter why they are homeless, I have to wonder why some are homeless and some are not. Some people are homeless because they have bad luck. 

I do know this, what I saw in that motel room had an impact on my life. What I saw standing in that small entryway was enough to change my perspective of homelessness. The minority of homeless people are the ones that you actually see living on the street. The majority are the ones who are doubled up with friends or family until they grow tired of their presence at which time they are forced to find another place to live. They are forced to find someone else who is willing to take them in for a few months. The majority are living in their cars with their children wondering where their next meal is coming from or how they’ll pay for gas to get to the next place. The majority are invisible to most of the population. And yet our society insists on making a drunken, unshaven, unbathed person the face of homelessness. I realize that this is a reality, however it is not the only reality. What if americans were actually made aware that the fastest growing homeless population is woman and children? Would our approach change? Would our perception change? Would we be more compassionate? 

Homelessness affects every part of your life. If a family is living in a motel without a stove or oven, what kind of food are they eating? Sure this family had a crockpot, but that requires time and planning. You can’t forget about dinner when you plan to use a crock pot. Luckily, this family had a full size refrigerator, but the mother was concerned that they would soon be evicted. If they were evicted, they would be forced to live in their car again. Then what would they eat? Fast food would be their only option at that point. What about showers? Where will they change their clothes or brush their teeth? Will they feel safe at night? 

So again I will ask:

What if americans were actually made aware that the fastest growing homeless population is woman and children? Would our approach change? Would our perception change? Would we be more compassionate? 

You decide.

colloquium reflection

In this course, I've learned that sustainability doesn't have just one look to it. Sustainability is recycling or up cycling, preserving nature, being a good steward of what's been given to you. Eco-literacy is being able to discern the good from the bad in every situation. Is buying a smart car Eco-literate? Not really because it's not as safe as a normal car and its miles per gallon is not even that great. Eco-literacy is having the common sense to discern the difference between something that's "perceived" as green and helpful to the environment and things that really are green and helpful to the environment. A sense of place refers to where you see yourself in the midst of nature. Do you see yourself as the head of the food chain or just another part of the food web? Which one is actually true? Well in nature, we are actually just another part of the food web. This being true what right do we have as humans to go around stamping out other animal's habits for our own selfish ambitions. Yes I know we have to build a house somewhere, but be conscious of what you're doing and who you're affecting.
As far as my major is concerned, i plan to work in hospitals for the majority of my career. Although, eventually i would like to start my own counseling center. I feel that what I've learned in Colloquium could aid me in helping people in the hospital by encouraging them to seek solace in nature and to spend more time outdoors. However, if i seek to establish my own counseling center i would have a direct say in how things are operated. Meaning that when we choose a building it should be a sustainable one, and our practices should be sustainable and respectful to our surroundings.
I enjoyed Dr. Durham. I think he's a really great teacher. He always did his best in keeping the lectures interesting and entertaining. The field trips were to places that i would normally not venture myself. This was informative, interesting and aided me to leave my comfort zone. The worst part about this class was the papers. The guidelines were awful. How can you write a research paper on fifty questions? The guidelines need to be more concise and directly to the point.
Honestly, if I could teach Colloquium I don't think I would do it differently than Dr. Durham did. I felt like he tried to approach the subject with balance and sensitivity. I felt like he emphasized the proper points and  didn't emphasize the lesser ones. He gave his opinion only when we asked for it, which I agreed with most of the time. However, I would probably emphasize more about biodiversity and preservation than our professor did. I really liked reading about those in the Colloquium Reader.

Entry #5: Estero Island

I thought the Estero Cottage was neat. Anytime that history can be preserved I think it should be. It's pretty amazing that that cottage has been there for as long as it has. It has definitely seen and survived a lot. I thought that the lady who spoke about the cottage was very informative; it was also obvious that she was passionate about the preservation of the cottage.

The preservation of the Mantanza's pass has helped the local quality of life because of the ecosystems that it protects. Just as Shiva pointed out in our Colloquium Reader, anytime that an ecosystem is protected everyone wins. Those ecosystems help enrich the quality of life of all those surrounding the area.  There are microbes present that filter the air and make it of better quality. Also the fish that are present in those ecosystems help fuel the local economy. The cottage itself is a tourist attraction, which also helps the local economy.

I've lived in Sarasota for the past thirteen years and i have seen a lot of change since my family moved here. I don't think I've ever felt a sense of community here simply because it's been large since I've lived here. Things in Sarasota are very spread out, so it's easy to separate yourself from people. For example, I went to high school in the northern part of the county, so long as i avoid that part of Sarasota, i will probably not see anyone i went to high school with since most of them still live in that general area. If a developer offered us 300% of the market value for my childhood home, where i currently reside, i would take it. My parents own this house but allow my husband and i to live here because they needed someone to look after it. I know my dad would gladly take the money since he would like to move out of Florida. My husband and i also plan to move one day so we wouldn't be against the notion either. IF the county approached me after the developer did i would probably decline simply because I'd rather move away.

Entry #4: Downtown Fort Myers

The word "downtown" to me is usually the center of where things are happening in a city. For example, in my town, downtown is the center of activity. People go downtown for the fourth of July, New Years Eve, St. Patty's day, etc. There's usually something going on downtown, specifically for holidays.

Down town areas have changed over time because cities are bigger and are more spread out. While in most cities the down town area has a lot to offer, its usually more for personal reasons than business. For example, the bank isn't just on Main Street anymore, neither is the theatre or your favorite clothing stores. These places have moved to more central locations through out the town.

Downtown Fort Myers is currently experiencing a renaissance due to the the fact that there was a decrease in visitors to the down town area. This area had very Little to offer people until a few years ago as it underwent renovations. Now there are a lot of places to eat, bars, clubs, theatres and shops to attract people. There is also an Olympic museum which was really cool.

Some of the more prominent architectural features is the Sidney and Berne Davis Art Center that has coral removed from the ocean as a kind of stucco on it. There is also a mural demonstrating a concise history of Florida. Unfortunately its kind of hidden away and not easily viewable from the street. There is also a large statue of Edison, Ford and Firestone by the river. The buildings in down town Fort Myers have a deco feel, very similar to south beach. Whereas others have more of a Mediterranean feel to them.

In their renovations, Fort Myers is aspiring to invoke more of a pedestrian spirit thus inspiring people to walk more and drive less around the down town area. they have put certain things closer together so that people are more inclined to walk from place to place rather than drive. This is obviously sustainable because it encourages consumers to consume less gas.

Downtown Fort Myers is very historical, obviously there's a statue of Edison, Ford and Firestone who all vacationed in south west Florida. There is also a theatre in downtown called the Edison theatre. It's inoperable now but a tribute to it remains.

Fort Myers economy has seen ups and downs as has any other here in the United States. Now its economy has improved because the city has invested money into reinventing the down town area. Before the renovations however, downtown was not a very attractive place for the locals or even tourists. However, now that they are investing the economy of the down town area has improved.

Blog entry #3: ECHO

I was extremely impressed with ECHO.  "ECHO's Mission is to equip people with resources and skills to reduce hunger and improve the lives of the poor." (www.echonet.org) There's the famous saying "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day; teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime." At ECHO they are sincerely concerned about teaching those in underdeveloped nations to live independently and sustainably. They also teach how to utilize every resource available so that nothing is wasted, which is significant when reasons are limited. 

I really enjoyed how we were allowed to taste the different edible parts of the plants. It was a neat experience to taste unique things that aren't normally found in the grocery store. My favorite part though was the urban gardens. I really loved how they used things like plastic grocery bags and kitty pools to hydroponically grow things. It showed that while ECHO's vision does expand past the borders of the USA, they still have a lot to offer those in their own backyard. 

The examples displayed at ECHO challenged my views of American agriculture. The urban gardens specifically because they were unique and efficient. The urban gardens made gardening seem possible for anyone to grow food anywhere. It was very resourceful and practical for people who live in urban areas with limited space to grow things. 

ECHO's use of appropriate technology makes their work relevant to the developing world. Appropriate technology means using technologies that are appropriate for the audience being targeted. For example, if we are going to teach people in Ethiopia to make a grill, appropriate technology evaluates what resources are available to them. Therefore, when we are teaching them to make a grill we are using materials they have access to; materials that are affordable, efficient and easily accessible. 

I wish I had waited to do my service learning because I would have like to have done it here. The main reason is probably because I have been to places like Haiti and Jamaica where people are at risk for starving. Haiti specifically could greatly use the resources that ECHO offers. Having been to Haiti and seeing the little kids that don't know where their next meal is coming from; i can really see how valuable ECHO's mission is.